Sexual Abuse - You Are Not Alone
"He touched me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't tell anyone either. I was ashamed of what had happened, and I thought that it was my fault."
Many children, teens, and adults have faced a similar scenario. Something was done to them, and they kept it inside without telling a soul. Their silence hung heavy with fear of getting in trouble, or perhaps getting that person in trouble. The thought of "If I had.... then it wouldn't have happened" has been thought and contemplated by many as well.
What we know today, that many years ago wasn't talked about, is that child abuse occurs. For some, the incident was one time, while for others it was many times over years. It has happened and does happen to both boys and girls.
One survivor said, "I told my mother, but she said not to say anything bad about him. He was a good father." The mother shut down the discussion and the abuse was allowed to continue. When you tell a parent who is supposed to protect you, who do you turn to next? Who would believe you if your own mother or father wouldn't? So the abuse continued, and that survivor didn't tell until she was in her 40's. How very long to carry such a big secret that held so much pain and shame!
The shame doesn't belong to the survivor, it belongs on the perpetrator. That man or woman who abused that young person (male or female) was the one who was shameful! That perpetrator should have been the one to suffer the consequences of their choices - not the survivor who had no choice in the matter.
Anyone who survived their abuse, is a survivor. They were victimized, yes, but they lived to be able to tell about it. That's a survivor. Maybe you are a survivor but you haven't told yet. It's okay to tell!
Find a trustworthy friend, a therapist, a doctor, a pastor, or someone else you trust. Take that first step of setting yourself free from the grip of your abuser - even if you only utter "I was abused" and say nothing else in that moment. You just started to take away the power of your abuser.
There are no rules of who you have to tell, or how much you have to tall, at what speed. What matters is that you understand that you did what you had to do to survive. The perpetrator was responsible for the abuse. You didn't ask for it - it was done to you. The shame is on him or her who abused you.
Even if you didn't try to tell, that doesn't make you responsible for the abuse. You did what you had to do to cope and survive. You are not alone in what you experienced. Many, many men and women are survivors of abuse, and are leading lives that are free of the torment they once experienced.
Reach out today.
Sexual Abuse Page
Many children, teens, and adults have faced a similar scenario. Something was done to them, and they kept it inside without telling a soul. Their silence hung heavy with fear of getting in trouble, or perhaps getting that person in trouble. The thought of "If I had.... then it wouldn't have happened" has been thought and contemplated by many as well.
What we know today, that many years ago wasn't talked about, is that child abuse occurs. For some, the incident was one time, while for others it was many times over years. It has happened and does happen to both boys and girls.
One survivor said, "I told my mother, but she said not to say anything bad about him. He was a good father." The mother shut down the discussion and the abuse was allowed to continue. When you tell a parent who is supposed to protect you, who do you turn to next? Who would believe you if your own mother or father wouldn't? So the abuse continued, and that survivor didn't tell until she was in her 40's. How very long to carry such a big secret that held so much pain and shame!
The shame doesn't belong to the survivor, it belongs on the perpetrator. That man or woman who abused that young person (male or female) was the one who was shameful! That perpetrator should have been the one to suffer the consequences of their choices - not the survivor who had no choice in the matter.
Anyone who survived their abuse, is a survivor. They were victimized, yes, but they lived to be able to tell about it. That's a survivor. Maybe you are a survivor but you haven't told yet. It's okay to tell!
Find a trustworthy friend, a therapist, a doctor, a pastor, or someone else you trust. Take that first step of setting yourself free from the grip of your abuser - even if you only utter "I was abused" and say nothing else in that moment. You just started to take away the power of your abuser.
There are no rules of who you have to tell, or how much you have to tall, at what speed. What matters is that you understand that you did what you had to do to survive. The perpetrator was responsible for the abuse. You didn't ask for it - it was done to you. The shame is on him or her who abused you.
Even if you didn't try to tell, that doesn't make you responsible for the abuse. You did what you had to do to cope and survive. You are not alone in what you experienced. Many, many men and women are survivors of abuse, and are leading lives that are free of the torment they once experienced.
Reach out today.
Sexual Abuse Page